What do you do when...

every word you say hits a brick wall?

When obedience turns into a negotiable concept?

When you get so frustrated that you want to stomp and yell and punch the wall?

When the entire household has molasses running through their veins, 

but the schedule races by at the speed of light?

When everyone, including you, needs something dramatic and new,

all at the same time?

When you need to be doing 5 things all at once...

but can't seem to even manage one successfully?

 

I get excited!

Yep!

It's when those seasons come that I lean deeper into my Rock. 

He put me here. 

He has made me content to be a wife, a mother, a help-meet, a homemaker, a teacher...

I love watching our home get rocked this way

because...

The outcome is beautiful!

We all emerge clean and shiny, washed by the rain of trials and friction, cleansed by the act of humble submission to our Heavenly Father, 

 

author of

orderliness

and peace

 

giver of wisdom

 

lifter of the weary

 

light for those who stumble

encourager of the mommies

protector of their children

leader of the lost.

So, we wait. I pray and observe...both myself and my children. I take notes, find scripture, get ideas from others, pray some more, and let the Lord make a new plan. This happens every so often to us...mostly when I'm feeling puffed up and prideful that I CAN DO IT!

Because, after all, I can't do it! It's only Christ through me that can...

It's a hard lesson learned, one that I apparently need to learn over and over again.

This time seems to be a bit harder than others...and I'm seeing bad fruit from bad choices.

BUT

Jesus will be glorified here!

And it will be a beautiful thing...

More than just a hill 'o beans

  

I love having three kids...but my heart still aches for my fourth...and my fifth

that we lost.  

I think about it every.single.day.

I'm not angry...just sad...

and

wondering what God will have for us next!

my Three Musketeers love adventures in the outdoors!

They pray every night that Jesus will give us a farm...

with a creek...

and a large hollow log...

and a cave...

and a couch and a TV in the cave...

I tell them that God hears every prayer but sometimes He answers them a bit differently than we expect!

You know, to avoid any tears when our new farm has the hollow log but not the cave with a TV in it!

One of the many aspects of homeschooling I love is that my kids are friends

not just siblings, not just "the other one that sleeps in my bedroom"

but friends. Real honest to goodness friends.

I cherish their conversations...

I love that Ava wants to give Alec "huggies and kisses" before he leaves to play with a friend...

The other night, Ava had trouble falling asleep and Alec sat in her bed reading her Bible stories

till I could come up and talk to her...

Priceless!

I also love that Ava will have two BIGGER brothers to look out for her! What a filter that will be when boys come a knockin' down the road! And I also enjoy knowing that Ava will have a really good idea of how to relate to the opposite sex and what makes them tick! Of course God's plan is perfect, but I also certainly wouldn't change the birth order here even if I had a chance!

Getting the three of them to cooperate for a photo is virtually impossible, in fact, I don't really even try anymore. Usually I just put them in the clothes, put them in the location, and then let them do their thing! And honestly, the "outtakes" are probably my favorites, because they capture what my three are really all about...

If the picture below was the norm, I think I'd be deathly bored!

Marvin is working on the big "protect and honor your sister" idea with the boys.  It's tough because even though they are older than her, she's still the pesky little sister and  all they wanna do is protect their stuff! This is, unfortunately, a lesson only Daddy can teach...

He's begun to encourage them to play games that involve "rescuing" Ava from a giant horrible beast, in attempts to make it exciting to learn the life-lesson.

It's REALLY important to us that the message gets through...

I'll keep you posted!

It's so awesome to me to get to watch them all learn new things. Benji has taken off with math like nobody's business and his drawings in his sketch book are completely amazing! Tiny and full of detail and each one tells a complete story.  Alec is becoming so much more self motivated. I can tell he's really starting to enjoy school, HE chose his own science book this time around AND his own history book! Ava is pretty much teaching herself how to read...and is extremely motivated with domestic tasks. Sweeping, scrubbing out the sink with baking soda, and washing the cabinet fronts with vinegar water are some of her favorite things to do!

All I can say about the image above, is...

WATCH OUT!

*grin*

 These two do.not.get.along.

At.All.

(for right now, but...)

It's awful!

I remember Alec and Benji going through the same phase right before we took Alec out of public school in second grade. Within 2 months, we noticed a remarkable positive change in Alec, and in his ability to kindly relate to others outside of his peer group. That is one way that a traditional age-grouped school setting is crippling...kids develop a tight tolerance for only those in their developmental stage. It makes dealing with siblings after a long tiring day in the classroom nearly an impossibility!

My hope is that their friendships will continue to blossom, Ava's naturally bossy nature will subside a bit, Benji's highly sensitive temper will quiet, and Alec will come into a fuller realization of his role as the oldest...

Because, deep down, they really and truly are FRIENDS

and that's the best part of being siblings!

Ava loves animals. More than dollies. More than nearly anything.

She goes to bed with no less than 10 animals piled high on each side of her bed. Good thing she sleeps in a queen! I've come in her room at night before and found her using her big tiger or horse as her pillow!

I remember loving animals as a little girl, too. I remember on several occasions just BEGging my mom for a new teddy bear when we were out shopping.

I love watching the nurturing, motherly side of Ava grow. She takes such good care of her stuffed animals, putting them to bed under the covers, shoving them down in her dolly high chair and feeding them plastic carrots, singing to them, taking them for rides in the dolly stroller...

You WANT to be a stuffed animal in this girl's room! Ha!

 Even though she's turning 5 in a week, I can still see traces of baby sweetness lingering. She likes to bring an animal to snuggle with if she feels shy...she runs straight to me for a snuggle when she wakes up in the morning...she still cries HARD when she's upset...she still needs a rest in the afternoon...

But it's all fading fast. Too fast.

This handsome fellow is my comedian! Oh, the laughter he brings to my heart!

He's finally realized that HE is funny, and we are NOT laughing AT him! It took a while...he cried a lot thinking we were making fun of him for a long time.

Now he knows he's funny. He has great timing, does a fantastic British accent, and spits out the most random, hilarious things all day long.

You can't parent well without a sense of humor!

Benji will be eight in January. That's two years under 10. That's 6 years under driving.

I hope he's still funny then!

My oldest, my perfect baby.

Napped twice, for two hours each time! Slept through the night at 7 weeks!

No allergies, no issues, no naughtiness, no terrible twos...

I thought I was the best mom ever!

How we learn and grow!

Alec is 10...sometimes older, sometimes younger!

Older, more often than not these days.

I love watching him read

and write his school work

He's so big, up to my shoulders...

Makes the weight of my reality on my shoulders heavy.

I will soon have a teenager.

He'll be amazing.

I just know it.

And that, my friends, is more than just

a hill 'o beans!

disLike

I was recently having a conversation with someone about a meal we were planning and the topic came up of whether or not my kids liked a particular food. This person happens to have similar ideas and beliefs about food that I do, but it brought to mind a pet peeve of mine that has been growing rapidly.

In our house here is what we teach the kids about food:

God gives us food

Food does not need to taste good, but it must be healthful

Whole food is the only healthy choice

thus

we need to eat our food as close to it's natural state as possible

By making healthy choices, we are honoring God with our bodies

By making healthy choices because we are told to, not necessarily because we want to, we are being obedient to our parents

This translates occasionally into some mild mealtime battles. For most children, regardless of how aware of whole foods they are raised, trying a new food can be quite challenging. Since we are very firm in our lifestyle choice of eating whole food, we do not allow complaining, whining, or refusal to try new things.

The phrase "But I don't like it!" does not hold any currency at our table. We gently say, "I'm sorry you don't like that food. You need to eat it anyway because it's good for your body and because you need to obey your mommy and daddy."

Because we eat the way we do (which is not the norm in our country), we frequently have friends come over with children who are curious about what's on the table. Often, this scenario has played itself out in front of me:



guest child,"Mommy? What's that?"

parent, "Oh, it's such and such"

guest child, "Oh! I want to taste it!"

parent, "Oh NO, you won't like it."

or

"Oh, I don't think you should, you've never had that before."



What? "you won't like it"???!!! I really and truly can't even wrap my head around that mentality. Why in the world would you not only discourage your child's natural curiosity but also squash their desire to try WHOLE, NUTRITIOUS FOOD??



I could probably understand if it were the other way around, if I was serving up a big helping of processed grain, refined sugar, msg and high fructose corn syrup, and the parent, bless their heart, was trying to discourage tasting that. But this? Really?



(when I say "food" here, I'm referring to whole, traditional, nutritious foods)

It frustrates me and saddens me to no end to see parents putting their preconceived notions about food, or personal dislikes of a food onto their children. For example, my husband hates tomatoes. Since boys always want to be like Daddy, we are very careful not to let the boys know just how much Daddy hates tomatoes so that they will try them and develop their own opinion. All three of the kids actually don't like tomatoes right now, their choice, but we serve tomato stuff anyway and I just tell them, "Well, you're not old enough to like them, but you will when you are more grown up."



At the end of the day, our goal with our children is to accomplish the realization of a new meaning of the word "like".



Like: the ability to enjoy and eat whole, nutritious, traditional foods because they are the best choice, and God's choice, for a healthy body.



Conversely, the word "dislike" or phrase "I don't like that" translates to this:

the sinful flesh refusing to be obedient to God's design for the body, an ungrateful spirit rearing it's ugly head



So, when my children are served something they object to, their thought processes should run something like this:

Oh, this is not my favorite thing to eat. But I'll eat it anyway with a happy heart because I like foods that Mommy and Daddy tell me are healthy, and because I want to be obedient.



I do not believe in coddling, or cooking for, the appetite of my children. Occasionally we will allow them to participate in meal planning, or have a favorite meal for a special occasion. Largely speaking, though, I cook and serve what I deem to be the best, and healthiest foods for the

family, and fully expect cheerful obedience and "liking" of what I serve!



Our goal is raising kids with a grateful heart, and a taste for simple, nutritious, life-giving foods.

unCONVENTIONal

Comfy (but stylish) shoes...check!
Rolling cart...check!
Water bottle and snacks...check!
Notebook, pen, highlighter...check!
Checkbook...check!
Registration forms and directions...check!
Amber necklace to prevent headaches...and Tylenol in case it doesn't work...check!
Willingness to be out of my comfort zone...check!

This past weekend, I went to my fourth homeschool convention. I had already been to one a few months back with my husband (we go annually, just the two of us, as an excuse to get away alone and as a way to take time to re-assess our path for our children's education) so this was a girls-only weekend.

I went with my two friends Barbara and Polly (names have been changed to protect their high-profile identities...*grin*) in a borrowed black Mercedes. It's been AGES since I've been on a road trip with just friends and well, it was awful! Just kidding...it was AWESOME!!!!!!!!

After spending 24/7/365 with my three perfect, cherubic children (Hm-mmmm), getting away with some of my girlfriends was like a pickle when you're pregnant! and yes, I will be using a LOT of exclamation points in this post...it was that fun!!!!!!!

Barbara (a homeschool newbie) booked a delightful little suite for us in a hotel situated at the side of  rushing river with rocky outcroppings and waterfalls, and right down the block from a quaint outdoor shopping mall that just happened to be having a street fair that night. (!!!!) Delightful!!!

Polly and I, being homeschool veterans (well, Polly more so than I) were anxious to make sure that Barbara's first homeschool convention was as, um, informative? as possible.  Between the walks to find yummy restaurants, phone calls from our husbands and children, unsuccessful efforts to find moist chocolate cake, and getting lost on the highway, we managed to exhaust poor Barbara's ears with endless prattle about this speaker and that, and all the wonderful curriculum we have used.

We also did actually ATTEND the convention, spent some money (ack!) and learned some things. God's timing is perfect and allowed Barbara to get some answers to some difficult questions she had about a child with a reading issue and to feel very encouraged and ready to press forward.  Polly was able to attend a session covering the topic of "motivating high-schoolers"... Mwa-HAHAHA! So glad I'm not there yet, but so glad she was there so she can tell me what to do when that day arrives!

As for me, well, let's just say that the Lord did not meet me at the convention itself.

He met me in the lounge area of our suite, in the form of Godly counsel from my friends.
He met me in the hallway of the convention center with the knowledge that NO, I didn't need to attend a particular session because what He was teaching me was far better and perfectly suited to my family.
He met me in the perfect, breezy weather...and in the beauty of the downtown architecture.
He met me in the delicious food, in the pleasant company, and in the respite from caring for others.
He showed up in the public restroom as I watched my friend Barbara ask the cleaning lady if her day was going well and she responded with a surprised smile on her face.
I saw His face in the faces of the children of large families taking care of one another in the rotunda while their parents attended conference sessions.
He whispered words of love and affirmation to my soul as I wandered around the vendor hall realizing (for the first time) that nothing I could buy there would make me a better parent or teacher.

He met me UNconventionally...at the convention.

{If you've never been to your local home educators convention, I would encourage you to try it out! Even if you are NOT a home educator, as long as you are an engaged parent,  you will benefit! There are so many parenting and discipling resources there, and just general support for your job raising up the next generation, it's worth a trip, at least once! And who knows...you may have an unCONVENTIONal meeting of your own!}

Are You Getting in Your Own Way?

That curious contradiction of "dying to oneself"...

The person inside of you dying so that you can be reborn...

Getting in your own way, stopping yourself from overcoming, achieving, listening, bending, being humbled...

My selfish wants and needs are very often a loud, ugly voice, crowding my thoughts and blocking my ears to the truth

Over the past months, I've been slowly, very slowly dying inside. Rejoice with me over the things I've learned and the new person God is allowing me to become!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My desire to have an easy to feed household has been snuffed in favor of having a healthy household. No longer do I take shortcuts in the kitchen, ignoring possible allergens or sensitivity triggers. We have now been largely grain-free for close to two months, following loosely to the GAPS diet parameters.

The Lord lead me to this place of sacrifice in the kitchen, and my reward is more peaceful children, not clamoring for food every five minutes, more calm, less apt to tantrum over tiny things. I feel amazing, I actually get a hungry feeling (haven't had proper digestion in YEARS) and nearly all my fibromyalgia-type symptoms have vanished. (I will share more on these health issues in our family later.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My desire to have a just for me work area has changed in favor of having a just for school work area. After struggling with the kids over disrespect and disregard for the seriousness of school, the Lord impressed on my heart the need to completely designate ONE room in the house as a classroom.

Taking apart my dedicated art/sewing table/workspace was like ripping my arm off. Tears flowed, but redemption came. Obedience that requires sacrifice bears delicious fruit!!! We now have a beautiful turquoise table and orange and white chairs in our new classroom and the children sit peacefully around it and do their work, largely without complaint.

{quick note on this: while having a dedicated classroom may improve your personal home educating experience, I'm by no means saying that this is a cure all or surefire way to get your kids to settle down and work! This is just the way obedience in that area looked for our particular family. I'll share more on this later, also}

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My desire to "look pretty" upon leaving the house has been replaced by a desire to "look practical" and be on time! I still don't leave the house in pj's or sweats with mismatched shoes but I've left with no or minimal makeup or with just a simple braid or ponytail in my hair in order to place more priority on getting my children out the door peacefully.

This is an area that is difficult for me, due to my extremely low self-esteem and self consciousness over my body size. Over the years I've grown in this area, but my voice inside still kept shouting loud enough that I couldn't really hear what the Lord was trying to gently whisper to my soul...

"You are precious in my sight, you are beautiful in my eyes, you are unique, no one has or will be created like you, so there is NO COMPARISON! Just be, and listen to me...my voice is truth!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My desire to have obedient children so that I could feel gratified and in control has been replaced with a desire to see them turn their hearts toward Jesus at all costs. The cry of my heart to the Lord during discipline issues has changed from "Lord, help ME know what to do here!" to "Lord, help this child to listen to you! Open this child's ears to what you have to say through me!" I can now hear this truth, softly spoken in my heart...

"Discipling and disciplining your children has nothing whatsoever to do with you, you are merely a tool placed in their lives to enable them to learn of Me and hear my voice speaking to their hearts. It doesn't matter if you are being physically or emotionally assaulted by your child, your feelings are not the issue. Their hearts are infinitely more important!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

These all big areas! Big enough to write at least a whole post on each...which I may do at some point.

For now, I'm humbly thankful to my patient Heavenly Father for lovingly and gently leading me on these paths.
This is only the beginning of my adventure in dying but it's a good start...

When I'm tempted to argue with myself, or trip over my own feet, my turquoise table is my ever-present reminder that...

Obedience that requires sacrifice bears good fruit!

Plans

I am planning our week of school right now. Sitting hunched over our messy desk in my cold office, pouring over books, copying and pasting scripture into Word documents, making spelling lists.

In the other room, my husband is coaching the kids (and himself) through our family chore list posted on our white board on the pantry door. At the same time he's fixing dinner. These things are not his forte, but he's graciously navigating through.

I can hear the frustration in his voice as he redirects Alec to tidy up his bedroom, and offers Ava a banana. Benji is sidetracked again and playing with toys that just got put away.

I struggle to listen to Jesus voice of direction over the noise of life happening in the rest of the house; the game on TV in the front room, Pandora on my computer, Ava's singing, dishes clanking in the kitchen.

I suddenly hear a tiny thought at the back of my mind. It's my Abba Father saying, "Stop! Encourage the others that I see them. I know the things they do, I value their time spent raising up the next generation. I will honor their choices, I will prosper their offspring..."

So I stop, tab over to Blogger, and write.

This is for all of you who are sitting, even now, planning for your children. Planning math lessons, planning college visits, planning field trips, planning play dates, planning book lists, sports, meals, character training, history studies...

You may feel like everything you do is minutia, unnoticed, pointless. At the end of the day you may feel like you did nothing because your house is a disaster and your children are filthy. You may hear a voice saying, "Don't bother reading that to them, they're not listening anyway".

I know I've felt all this and more.

I'm here to tell you that IT. DOES. MATTER.  It all matters. Every little bit.

And, it's completely unimportant who sees you do it all, or what anyone thinks about how you are doing it. Jesus sees. He notices when you wipe tears or bandage another skinned knee. He notices when you chose to discipline instead of take the easy way out and ignore. He rejoices when you read His word with them. He sees you when you are weary and your shoulders sag. He delights in you because you are His, not because you are working harder.

That is enough for me. I don't have to be enough for my family or for my children because He is. He's already made plans. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11)

As you sit making plans for your children, know that the Lord has plans for you. 

He sees you and He loves you and he rejoices over you!